TRICKING THE ELDERLY IS NO LONGER JUST AMERICAS FAVORITE PASTIME

http://news.yahoo.com/s/uc/20080629/od_notw/nwx080629xml;_ylt=AgW_E96NdwCHP_tTkUXQVhU3AIZ4

I have to agree, that this is actually ingenous. Part of me does however, think it is somewhat cruel to play tricks on Alzheimers patients (ie exploding presents, squirting flowers,joy buzzers.), but this is pretty smart. A German nursing home has created a mirage for the old and confused. And what better mirage then a fake bus stop, complete with a bench for sitting.Now, they say this works because it is a familiar sight for these patients, and they will sit, and most of the time they will sit for hours forgetting why they were there at all, and head back into the home for some plain pudding and Ice milk. Well here is my list of other possible mirages to distract the escaping seniors:

-A shoebox diarama depicting a scene from Matlock

-A parked bus with a destination of the nearest casino

-A duck filled pond

-Cardboard cutouts of grandchildren

-A voting booth

to name a few.............

happy lucky sunshine smile glow glow toy!

Oh boy here we go again.....http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080717/od_afp/lifestylejapanhealthoffbeat_080717160539;_ylt=Ar9CdeQluToZg13.auZB5iys0NUE

The promise of a ten year glow!!!

First of all how these two got away with this is quite shocking. First of all, I think if the copy right trade mark of anything that glows states "made in Hiroshima," should have been a heads up on this.

Now, according to this article over 5,000 of these were sold via the Internet. So potentially we have 5,000 happy lucky sunshine smile glow glow straps lighting up the night. Yay radioactive energy!

This is not, not like ordering a three headed fish from a restaurant in the Ukraine, or an eight legged octobaby from India.

I think this is most definitely a plot derived by Hello Kitty to destroy the Earth with radioactive cute shiny things. Way to go japan!!!! I hate to say it....but I told you so....

I hope we will soon be able to colonize happy lucky shiny moon, before this most certain Apocalypse!

"In China, where meetings are almost as popular as banquets..."

Wed Jun 18, 12:17 PM ET
It's official. Hungry foreign hordes craving a fix of diced chicken fried with chili and peanuts during the Beijing Olympics will be able to shout "kung pao chicken!" and have some hope of getting just that.
As it readies for an influx of visitors for the August Games, the Chinese capital has offered restaurants an official English translation of local dishes whose exotic names and alarming translations can leave foreign visitors frustrated and famished.
If officials have their way, local newspapers reported on Wednesday, English-speaking visitors will be able to order "beef and ox tripe in chili sauce," an appetizer, rather than "husband and wife's lung slice."
Other favorites have also received a linguistic makeover.
"Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman," as the Beijing Youth Daily rendered the spicy Sichuanese dish, is now "Mapo tofu." And "chicken without sexual life" becomes mere "steamed pullet."
According to one widely repeated story, the Chinese name of "kung pao chicken" comes from the name of an imperial official who was fed the dish during an inspection tour.
With the Beijing Olympics 51 days away, a notice on the city tourism bureau website ( http://www.bjta.gov.cn ) told restaurants to come and pick up a book with the suggested translations.
In China, where meetings are almost as popular as banquets, agreeing on the English-language menu has taken many rounds of discussions over previous drafts since last year.
Just as predictably in this country where nationalism and the Internet make a potent brew, controversy has already broken out over the blander new translations.
""I don't like this new naming method, it's abandoning Chinese tradition," one Internet comment declared. "There are many stories in the names of these dishes."
(Reporting by Chris Buckley; Editing by Jerry Norton)
----
What exactly is the traditional story behind the dish: "Husband and Wife's Lung Slice"? If Chinatown's across the United States are any indication of what this story might be...I am afraid that I never ever ever want to know. Ever.

What's further...I think that Tofu made by pock-marked women has a little something more than tofu made by a woman with a skin-care regiment.

Thats A CANEN'!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080613/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_singapore_armpits;_ylt=ArPPKVlIEaz3JBp_Haf3ZFms0NUE

This is not, not like John Waters' "Baltimore Foot Stomper."

Just when you thought the streets of Singapore were safe and Bubble gum free, comes the ultimate sexual predator, "the ARMPIT SNIFFER."

Authorities say he has sniffed 23 armpits, and was only apprehended when a housewife reported a "sniffin"to the police. How does one go about pulling off 23 sniffs anyway? You would have to get pretty damn close to get a worthwhile sniff in, or else you are just wasting a perfectly good sniff.

Another question how does a sniff victim respond during an attack? Do the scream "HELP SNIFFER!!!"or "HELP, HELP, I"M BEING SNIFFED!"? Do they stand there helplessly while being sniffed? Are there Sniff victim support groups? hot line?(1-800-sniff) How does one ever get over something like this, something so so dirty?

Thank god this was handled swiftly by the Singapore court system. They have the perfect sentence. We all know what that is....A CANEN"

sniff an armpit.....that's a canen'

chewing gum.......that's a canen'

graffiti......you got it....that's a canen'

so much canen'

Forget GRAND THEFT AUTO.....

Hopefully this will drop by Christmas 2008.http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080605/od_nm/videogames_judge_dc;_ylt=AgJtmuqe_a1KcgoCZZn8xIMSH9EA
Parents take note! This is going to be like "cabbage patch kids" or "tickle me elmo." Your child will be the envy of every kid on the block.
Way to go world wide web! Tapping retired judge Sandra Day O'connor to promote the most boringest game EVER!!!!!This game is aimed at teaching children about the court system , yaaaawn.....I'm sorry I'm bored just writing about this.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080604/od_afp/germanyswitzerlandreligionoffbeat_080604162638

SHUT UP!!! A biblical theme park set to open in 2012 in Germany of all places."genesis park." Each of the set 40 attractions, all based on the good book. This is too good to be true.

Think of all the merchandising that can come out of this.

1. Oversize Styrofoam "hands of god"

2. A crucifixion with the head cut out for memorable photos

3. Crucifixion snow globes

4. "Bethlehem or Bust" t-shirts

This list could go on and on.........really. But what about attractions?

1. Sodom and Gomorrah land for adults

2. A virgin Mary kissing booth

3. Last supper land

4. "Holy wine" tastings

5. Three wise men fortune tellers

6. The nativity petting Zoo, complete with pregnant teen Mary.

This warrants a sexy vacation to Germany

PBS SWEATERS FOR ALL!!!!!!

Middle aged men around the world REJOICE I SAY!!!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080529/people_nm/cosby_dc
The ultimate in PBS sweaters hit the auction block on EBAY! Bill Cosby's sweaters!!!
Bidding is starting at $5000.00. Are you kidding me?
Now, you would think a rational person would turn their nose up at a hideously patterned and dated item of clothing, but you would be soooo very wrong. Now, as a joke, last Christmas I went on the scavenger hunt of a lifetime for an authentically ugly PBS sweater. I was thinking I would never ever find the perfect one, boy was i mistaken. I only had to go to Macy's to find the diamond patterned treasure for my husband. (he has yet to wear it. In fact I think the tags are still on it.)But don't worry honey my feelings aren't hurt................Anyway, every where i turned was an argyle, diamond, checked, striped and stenciled masterpiece.
The problem being these were not cheap items, which tells me we have demand for such atrocities.
Now, anyone who has ever watched a PBS concert, and you know you have, knows exactly what a PBS sweater looks like. The camera spans out into the dancing predominately white audience,
and it is as if Moses himself parted the sea of horrible patterns. It is a sight to be seen. Since these are the people who like to think they are hip by being able to name all the Huxtable clan, (including that little pain in the ass Olivia,) I think Bill will have no problem getting top dollar for his delightful and wacky sweaters.

Ja-plan-et?

After toiling over all these bizarre stories coming out of Japan and China, I have come to a conclusion that Asia is no longer part of Earth.

Their intelligence has driven them to madness and bizarre behavior. Especially Japlanet.

First there were harajuku girls, nintendo Wii, and Ambassador Hello Kitty. Now the citizens of planet japan Are using their alien ray guns and shrinking things to diminutive sizes, i:e http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/ap_on_sc/odd_japan_smallest_ramen_bowl;_ylt=Aql5vWLlZ6_r._kBXfNl32EsQE4F

Now why would one need a microscopic bowl of noodles? Unless they are living on some ALIEN planet where micro organisms are the sustenance of life.

They say this was done just for fun.

Um... when i want to have fun, I usually grab a beer, watch tv, even read a book. Never once have I thought about how much fun it would be to have the worlds tiniest bowl of inedible ramen noodles.

Also to substantiate my claim that Japan is the new earth,

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080527/od_afp/japanrussiaspacebiologyoffbeatdrinksapporo_080527075311;_ylt=AgsKeUCZivIRj16blIjePUigOrgF

SPACE BEER!!!!!!!!Yes they are brewing space beer. This article talks all about how "one day when man spends substantial amounts of time in space, they will need to grow food." think about

it.

I'm Spartacus!

This certainly is not Spatacus though....

That slide looks like it might angry up the blood. Before you know it old men will rise up thanks to the humiliation of being forced to slide down children's slides wearing harsh primary colors. Take that decadent America....old men will no longer submit to being all cutsey for photo ops!

THREE WISHES MY A$$!

http://www.aghostinabottle.com/?idx=0&file=images/100_1061.jpg&&ID2=5hkpV3

UMMM...This is not dissimilar to Magic Beans.

A ghost in a bottle.....what? This one is even too much for me. For some ridiculous reason people are actually purchasing these. What does one do with a ghost in a bottle, you ask? Well I wondered the same thing. After reading the list of spooky warnings, I have determined that one does absolutely nothing with a ghost in a bottle.

Now if you are feelin lucky go ahead.....open it, but consider the consequences. It seems to me, it would be like opening Pandora's Box, or that little draidle type toy in the Hellraiser movies. In my mind you have many different kinds of spooks and it is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get. These "ghosts " are found all over the world in the "spookiest" of places ie:graveyard, creepy castle, haunted houses etc, and they are trapped by trained professionals, so don't go try trapping them on your own! After they are caught they are "mysteriously" sealed in a bottle, with wax!!!! ooooh mysterious wax. Each one comes with a certificate of authenticity from the ghost hunter who trapped your ghost, so you know it's the real thing. Personally,I would like a custom egyptian cotton sheet with the eyes cut out so i could feel the bond with my new ghost. Now I might buy into this, if they were selling genie lamps that contained Barbara Eden. At least she could do something for me, unlike the ghost who gets out and reeks havoc on my underwear drawer unfolding my boxers and mismatching my socks. BOOOOOOO!!!!! and I mean that in so many ways........

I'm not not ingesting desire...

Warning issued over unlicensed sex drugs
Fri May 23, 3:36 PM ET
Canadians should avoid unlicensed drugs that claim to improve sexual performance because they could cause problems such as loss of consciousness, prolonged erections and chest pain, the health ministry said on Friday.
Health Canada issued the warning in a release about a product called Desire, which was found to contain the prescription drug phentolamine -- something not indicated on the label.
"Health Canada advises consumers not to use Desire or any other unauthorized products promoted to increase sexual performance that are advertised as 'all natural', as such products may contain undeclared prescription drugs that may pose serious risks to health," it said in a statement.
Phentolamine is used in the prevention and control of high blood pressure in patients with adrenal tumors.
"Use of phentolamine by patients with heart disease can potentially result in serious cardiac side-effects such as low blood pressure, chest pain and abnormal heartbeat," said Health Canada.
"Other side-effects may include dizziness, loss of consciousness, prolonged erection, headache, flushing, nasal congestion, indigestion and abdominal pain."
Health Canada said it was taking steps to ensure Desire -- which it said could be on sale across Canada and over the Internet -- was removed from the marketplace.
(Reporting by David Ljunggren; editing by Rob Wilson)

Nothing says Desire like sexy, sexy adrenal tumors. This is kind of the like how gout was considered a status symbol in Victorian England because only the wealthy could eat delcious liver (with it's delicious uric acid) morning, noon, and night...and for snacks.

Mmmm liver....

I'm not not ingesting toad venom...

NYC issues warning after aphrodisiac kills man
By DAVID B. CARUSO, Associated Press Writer2 hours, 3 minutes ago

Health officials are warning New Yorkers to stay away from an illegal aphrodisiac made from toad venom after the product apparently killed a man.
The city's poison control center issued the warning Friday after receiving a hospital report that a 35-year-old man who ingested the hard, brown substance died earlier this month.
The product is sold under names including Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone, Black Stone and Chinese Rock at sex shops and neighborhood stores. It is banned by the Food and Drug Administration.
City health officials said the victim, whose identity was not released, was admitted to the hospital complaining of chest and abdominal pain. He died two days later.
Health officials said the hardened resin, made with venom from toads of the Bufo genus, contains chemicals that can disrupt heart rhythms.
The aphrodisiac was supposed to have been applied to the skin, not eaten, but authorities said even that use can be harmful.
"There is no definitely safe way to use it," said Dr. Robert Hoffman, director of the city's poison control center. "Don't buy it. Don't sell it. If you have it, don't use it. Throw it out."
The same type of product killed a 40-year-old man in Brooklyn in 2002 and at least four New Yorkers in the early 1990s. A 17-year-old boy also fell seriously ill, but survived following hours of aggressive treatment.
Following that outbreak, city investigators went looking for the poison and found it was being sold sporadically in grocery stores, smoke shops and from street vendors.
Inspectors have been on the lookout for the stuff ever since, but identifying it isn't always easy. It is sometimes sold in packaging labeled only in foreign languages.
It isn't clear how available the aphrodisiac is elsewhere in the U.S., although some similar products have been seized from suspected drug traffickers in other East Coast cities, authorities said.
___
On the Net:
NYC Health Dept: http://www.nyc.gov/health

Main Entry:
1ven·om
Pronunciation:
\ˈve-nəm\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English venim, from Anglo-French, from Vulgar Latin *venimen, alteration of Latin venenum magic charm, drug, poison; akin to Latin venus love, charm — more at win
Date:
13th century
1: poisonous matter normally secreted by some animals (as snakes, scorpions, or bees) and transmitted to prey or an enemy chiefly by biting or stinging; broadly : material that is poisonous

When would it even be safe to ingest venom? Hopefully this Darwinian tragedy took palce without the victim having benefitted from the products intended effect. If the kind of person who would willfully ingest venom just to get some passed on his genes that would be the really tragedy.

Gun, or Gas, you decide....

One more reason to stay away from Missouri.http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080523/od_nm/missouri_gun_dc;_ylt=AkpfYSlhtWBFxsh5WZfcefKs0NUE

"FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, COME IN AND GET A FREE GUN WITH EVERY NEW OR USED CAR PURCHASE!!!!!!!" (that was my best sleazy car dealer line.) WHAT!!

Somebody really needs to explain the correlation between car and gun. I understand the alternative, the free gas, but a GUN! How is this even legal?

It's like offering Crack with a purchase of a happy meal.

I do not know what frightens me more, the fact that this promotion exists in the first place, or the fact that business is booming for this particular car dealership. You would think, the price of gas being as it is, that everybody would be thrilled to get a $250 gas card, especially in a part of the country where the economy is weak. (at this point, that would be the entire country) Not the case in Missouri! Only a small few have accepted the gas card.

What scares me even more, is that that the general public are opting for the KEL TEC .380

PISTOL...which and I quote Mr Muller is "a nice little handgun, that fits in your pocket."

Great.

They are saying this was inspired by Obama's statement "they are all clinging to their guns and their bibles." Ok Mr Muller finds this offensive, and responds by saying, "We all go to church on Sunday, and we all carry guns." Ummmmm, sounds like the same thing to me Mr Muller.

I agree with the right to bare arms and all, I just don't agree with boosting used car sales by offering a handgun as an incentive to buy.

SILLY TORTOISE SMOKES ARE FOR ME!

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5h4VLYE-wpsBznAVy6NR4ChE-C77g

WOW! A turtle after mine own heart! Imagine how Supplised Yun was when the turtle developed a habit. First of all, turtles are cool and all, but it would be a cold day in hell before i shared anything that has been in my mouth with a turtle. Second, I have enough trouble supporting my own smoking habit let alone if I had to buy some for my pet.

May I dare to ask what the hell is going on in Asia? First electing Hello Kitty in Japan, and now smoking turtles in China?

I don't think I can sit back and allow this any longer! Something must be done! Won't anybody think of the TURTLES! As if turtles aren't slow enough, Imagine a turtle on oxygen. I'd like to see him out run a predator, or a hungry hobo who has a fixin for turtle stew. Where is Angelina Jolie when you really need her? What about you Mia Farrow, or are you too busy saving Darfur to care about the plight of smoking turtles?

"SYONARA PUSSY?"

As if we didn't already have enough of the "harajuku girls,"Japan is offering us a brand new ambassador of tourism. HELLO KITTY. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080519/ap_on_fe_st/japan_hello_kitty

This is too good to be true. Maybe hello kitty will get her own seat at the united nations next. When the Japanese are least expecting it.............PUSSY REVOLUTION. Hello kitty will form a coup of the current government. She will elect herself sole empress of Japan and assassinate all who oppose her pussy reign!

Her secretary of defense? Keropi the frog perhaps. Maybe speed racer is available?

Hello Kitty, once a sweet cartoon loved by all, will become mad with power!She will demand closets filled with the finest kimonos and the sassiest barrettes. She will become paranoid of losing this power and imprison all things cute. The harajuku girls will be forced into slavery, cleaning her Kitty Box night and day.

Word of pussy tyranny will reach the shores of the U.S. Gwen Stefani would be immediately sent as a good will ambassador. Somehow she can communicate even though she only knows how to say "super cute" in japanese.

TIME FOR A NEW HOBBY?

YAY PENIS MUSEUM!!!!!! It's about time!
Wondering where to go on your next vacation? How about Iceland?http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080515/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_iceland_penismuseum;_ylt=AsN3BbqNncAlwsD3znCvH76s0NUE
Home to the ONLY Phallological Museum. What started off as one lonely bull dick, has grown to a collection of 261 penises, wah ha ha ha.
From the tiniest hamster dick to the ginormous sperm whale penis, this museum has it all, all except human penises. BOOOO! What fun is that? They are however working on erectifying.....i mean rectifying, excuse me, that. So far they have two potential donors..yay! Except by the time they receive them, they will be old and gross. Who wants to look at senior penis? NOT ME!
The best part, was that this man, started collecting penises as a hobby. What, stamp collecting not stimulating enough? Honestly what do you do with all these penises in your home? It might be inappropriate to use them as centerpieces, and how do you explain that to significant others, when seeing your house for the first time?
Good news, only one of these penises was purchased and that my friends was the majestic elephant penis, which is now "stuffed" and mounted on a wall. ummm...things.

Looking for your four legged soulmate?

Then you are in luck!!!!http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080514/ap_on_re_us/cat_personality

Since obviously we have nothing better to do with our time, a "behaviorist" has developed a personality test for shelter animals, so you know exactly what you are getting, when you decide to adopt an animal. hmmmmm......Now they say this is a valuable tool, and will stop people from returning animals.I say it is just pretty stupid.

Adopting an animal is much like adopting a child. Do you get to return your child if you find it doesn't match your new hand bag? Come on, the whole fun of adopting an animal is to watch their personality develop. I've heard it is the same with children, but that could just be a dirty dirty rumor spread by expecting mothers, and lesbians with Asian babies. Who knows?

Honestly, if you want to adopt the perfect pet, you are not being realistic, and you don't really want one, you want an accessory to your otherwise pathetic daily existence. I guarantee you most pets will not sit on your lap while you sit on your ass and pig out in front of the TV. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if that describes you, do me a favor and adopt a senior pet that enjoys a good sit, and stay away from puppies and kittens.

by the way the pic is my perfectly behaved well adjusted four legged soulmate Blue. She's an awesome dog!

"The house...had religious materials everywhere and also had hymns playing on the stereo, according to the complaint."

Kids, mom lived with 90-year-old's corpse for weeks in Wis.
32 minutes ago
Two children and their mother lived for about two months with the decaying body of a 90-year-old woman on the toilet of their home's only bathroom, on the advice of a religious "superior" who claimed the corpse would come back to life, authorities said Friday. (Is it Jebus?)
The children — a 15-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy — cried hysterically Wednesday after a deputy who came to their Necedah home looking for Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth ordered them out because of the stench from her body.
The children were in foster care Friday. Their mother, Tammy Lewis, and self-described "bishop" Alan Bushey remained in custody on felony counts of being a party to causing mental harm to a child. (Of course her name was Tammy the only thing it could have been was Tammy...or Lurlene. It could have been that too.)
"It's a sad case, and we'll continue to investigate it and try to ascertain just what occurred up there," Juneau County Sheriff Brent Oleson said. He said he had no further information on Bushey's religious affiliation. (Lets see what's that religion that worships a corpse that comes back to life? I don't think the guy in that religion died on the toilet though...)
According to the criminal complaint, Middlesworth's sister called sheriff's officials Wednesday and asked them to go to the home about 80 miles north of Madison to check on the woman, who had not been heard from for some time.
When Deputy Leigh Neville-Neil arrived at the house, she encountered Lewis, also known as Sister Mary Bernadett, the complaint said. Lewis, 35, initially refused to allow the deputy to check on Middlesworth, telling her that Middlesworth was on vacation and saying she had to check with her "superior" first. (Where do 90 year old women go on vacation exactly? Geriatricland? Branson, Missouri? The grave?)
But she eventually let the deputy in. The house smelled of incense and burned wood, and had religious materials everywhere and hymns playing on the stereo, according to the complaint.

When the deputy opened the last closed door, she smelled "decaying matter" and noticed something piled on what appeared to be a toilet. Lewis told her it was Middlesworth's body, the complaint said.
Lewis told the deputy that Middlesworth had died about two months earlier, but that God told her Middlesworth would come to life if she prayed hard enough. (At least this lady dies of natural causes...)
She said she couldn't say anything more until she spoke with her "superior" — Bushey, 57, also known as Bishop John Peter Bushey.
When Bushey (pronounced "boo-SHAY") arrived, Lewis told the deputy that Middlesworth had appeared to pass out as Lewis helped her into her underwear.
She said she propped Middlesworth on the toilet and left the room to call Bushey, who told her to leave the woman alone and pray for her, the complaint said. He said he had received signs that God would raise her from the dead with a miracle.
Lewis went on to say she thought Middlesworth was still breathing when she put her on the toilet and called Bushey, instead of an ambulance. She later told a detective she put the woman on the toilet on March 4.
An autopsy has been performed, but results won't be available for some time, Oleson said.
"At this time we don't know what the cause of death was," he said. "Quite frankly, it might have been natural causes."
He described the one-story home in the town of Necedah as in decent repair, although the residents had been using "makeshift" toilet facilities because of the situation in the one bathroom.
The boy at the house told a detective he had considered running away because he was uncomfortable with the situation. He said Bushey told him that demons were trying to make it look as if Middlesworth wouldn't come back to life, and that if she were to be discovered he and the girl would have to go to public school and get jobs because Middlesworth paid the bills. (And here we come to the heart of the matter, it is the intersection of craziness and laziness wherein religious zealots think that God will save them from having to work.)
The boy referred to Middlesworth as "grandmother," the complaint said.
Oleson said Middlesworth was unrelated to Bushey.
"She believed in the same faith as self-proclaimed Bishop Bushey, and that was the connection there," he said.
Oleson said that Middlesworth and Lewis lived at the residence with the children since fall of 2004, and that Bushey lived elsewhere.
Bushey and Lewis are scheduled to make an initial court appearance May 19. Aside from the felony counts, Lewis also was charged with obstructing an officer, a misdemeanor.
The sheriff said cash bond was set Friday at $50,000 each, but Lewis was allowed to post 10 percent for her release.
Computerized state court records had no attorney listed for either suspect on Friday. (I think that the only public defender that there people will need is their "superior" he will save them from the law and for working. Praise!)
___
Associated Press writer James Carlson in Milwaukee contributed to this report.

"We have a long way to go catching up with the literally trillions of winter moths that are out there."

Scientists to launch attack on winter moths in Wellesley
May 8, 2008 01:56 PM
(Robert D. Childs/University of Massachusetts)
Scientists hope Cyzenis albicans will attack the winter moths -- and save the trees.
By Globe Staff
A team of scientists will release 1,000 parasitic flies tomorrow in Wellesley, in the latest counterattack against the invasion of winter moths, the voracious insects that are stripping trees of foliage in parts of eastern Massachusetts.
It's the fourth and largest release of the flies. The flies were previously released in Hingham, Falmouth, and Wenham, said Joseph Elkinton, the professor of entomology at UMass-Amherst who is leading the effort.
Clouds of the moths have been seen in recent years fluttering around people's porch lights from Thanksgiving into early January. But they're more than just a nuisance: In their caterpillar stage in the spring they can defoliate trees, said Elkinton.
"These are a serious problem because it's been going on in a number of places for almost a decade. ... This can really kill trees," he said, noting that the moths have also damaged blueberry crops.
The fly, Cyzenis albicans, is a natural enemy of the winter moth and has been used in other places to stop winter moth invasions. The scientists believe the fly will only attack the winter moth and not other species. It will take years, however, for the number of flies to catch up with the number of moths.
The project is a joint effort between UMass, the federal government, the state Department of Conservation and Recreation, and Plymouth County Cooperative Extension.
"We have a long way to go catching up with the literally trillions of winter moths that are out there," Elkinton said.

This reminds me of that episode of the Simpsons where Springfield is overrun with Bolivian Tree Lizard so to they release snakes to eat them, then when the town is overrun by snakes they will send in Gorillas. Yeah, this reminds me of that.

Plus the release of a thousand parasites of any kind is always a fantastic idea.

""I asked, 'Where is my flag?'" Camelo said. "He said, 'What, the U.S. flag?' I said, 'No, the one for Mexico.'"

Idaho student says teacher tossed his Mexican flag in trash
13 minutes ago

A high school student says he may file a lawsuit against a physical education teacher who took a Mexican flag he had brought for Cinco de Mayo and put it in the garbage.

Clint Straatman denies Froylan Camelo's version of events but said he took the flag Monday because "white kids" might have hurt the 16-year-old. He said he put it in a garbage can because he had no place else to keep it.

Camelo said he was changing into gym clothes at Minico High School in Rupert when Straatman told him, "Give me the flag."

"I said, 'What's the problem?'" Camelo, speaking in Spanish, told The Times-News of Twin Falls. "He said, 'The problem is that we are in the United States and not in Mexico.' He grabbed it from me. He threw the flag in the garbage can."

Camelo said that Straatman told him the flag would be returned at the end of the school day, but that Straatman taunted him instead.

"I asked, 'Where is my flag?'" Camelo said. "He said, 'What, the U.S. flag?' I said, 'No, the one for Mexico.' But he wouldn't give it to me."

Camelo said he then took the undamaged flag out of the garbage. He said he's been contacted by the American Civil Liberties Union and is considering a lawsuit against Straatman.

Camelo and others brought Mexican flags to the south-central Idaho school to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, the May 5 recognition of Mexico's victory over the French army on that day in 1862. About a third of the student body is Hispanic.

Straatman denied saying the words Camelo attributed to him, and said the student may have misunderstood him because of his poor English skills. He said he took the flag from Camelo after Camelo had been waving it in the school gym, and denied withholding it later.

"I had to confiscate it so it wouldn't escalate any problems in class," Straatman told The Times-News. "We're worried about that stuff all the time. We always have kids saying stuff to each other, and we have a lot of fights between kids."

Scott Rogers, superintendent of the Minidoka County Joint School District, said an investigation has been started. He said he could not comment specifically about personnel decisions.

"We believe in nondiscriminatory practices and cultural sensitivity," he said. "We train for that and talk about that. If there is a teacher making derogatory comments we don't approve of that. We also don't approve of a student disrupting the classroom."

Rogers said he was at the school early Wednesday and that the school was quiet. He said he noticed a few students wearing clothing in the colors of the Mexican flag — red, white and green — in protest of Monday's incident.

---

Ok so, let me see if I have this correct. The white teacher of students who are one third hispanic, in Idaho no less, took a Mexican kid's Mexican flag....and stored it in the trash for safe keeping. Then the white teacher blamed this "misunderstanding" on poor English skills? Then, THEN the administration says they don't like teachers making derogatory comments tp students, but they also don't like trouble makers...like the kind that bring flags to school to celebrate their heritage, on a day that celebrates their heritage.

Add to this the ever present danger of "kids saying stuff to each other".

Forget throwing the flag in the trash, call the INS! Call Home Land Security!

"The local pawn shop proved an unattractive option, and Ebay felt too anonymous"

When diamonds become girls' worst friends
By Jill SerjeantTue May 6, 12:01 PM ET

Diamonds may be forever. But what's a girl to do when she gets dumped or divorced and those rings, necklaces and love gifts lose their emotional sparkle?

Help is just a click away on new Web sites that provide an outlet for selling jewelry from past relationships, sharing break-up stories and helping broken hearts heal.

"You go through a divorce. What do you do with that ring? Maybe you have a child you can pass it on to. Maybe you don't. It just sits there," said Marie Perry, who with her stepdaughter Megahn Perry runs http://www.exboyfriendjewelry.com/.

"We wanted to create a platform in the community where people can get in contact with others with similar needs," Perry told Reuters.

Three months after its launch with the slogan "You Don't Want It. He Can't Have It Back," the Web site has 3,000 registered users and more than 600 postings of rings, bracelets and earrings for sale -- all with a personal tale attached.

"Studs from a Dud," rites one woman, selling a pair of cubic zirconia earrings given to her three years ago. Six months later, she says, the boyfriend dumped her over the phone -- while she was recovering from brain surgery.

"Oops," writes another, selling a white gold wedding band. "Hey, Mom and Dad, remember that time I got married really young? Sorry about that. I can't pay you back for the wedding, but I'll split whatever I get for these with you. Deal?"

"We wanted to keep the tone fun and tongue in cheek. There are some bitter women but most stories are really light-hearted although a few are about people who have been in an abusive situation. But now they are ready to move on," said Perry.

The idea was born when Megahn Perry, a Los Angeles actress and writer, was looking for a safe, reliable place to sell a wedding set after an amicable divorce and realized others might have boyfriend jewelry languishing in drawers or with attendant memories that make them too painful to wear.

The local pawn shop proved an unattractive option, and Ebay felt too anonymous. So she teamed up with her stepmother Marie, researched the market and found a gap in it.

New Orleans students, Allison Wasserman and Elizabeth Rothbeind, set up a similar venture, www.Ex-cessories.com, in April after a teary afternoon sorting out photographs, jewelry and other mementos of an ex-boyfriend.

With the motto "Don't Get Mad - Break Even," it offers independent appraisals of jewelry, matches buyers with sellers, and provides a social network.
Although aimed at women, the Web sites welcome men.

"Some men thought it was going to be another male-bashing site but that's not what we're trying to do," said Perry.

But she admits the "He Can't Have It Back" slogan has rankled some who believe jewelry should be returned to the giver. "Etiquette says that if the engagement is broken off, you should absolutely give the ring back. But sometimes the man says no, and sometimes it depends on circumstances," she said.

As one woman posting a diamond ring for $3,500 wrote:
"Beautiful ring came with the wrong man. Decided to sell to regain the money that I spent finishing payments on the ring that my ex didn't."

(Editing by Mary Milliken and Todd Eastham)

Ok for one thing an article that has not only a byline but also TWO contributing editors should NOT have a typo in it. Now don't get me wrong I have have typos galore when I write (or rite) but I neither get paid, nor have a PAIR of editors. This kind of error is nearly as inexcusable as the content of this piece.

I just have one question. What exactly was a women, with health problems so severe she requires brain surgery expecting from a man who has given her...cubic zirconia?!

Perhaps she was expecting the surgeon to mine from her head some kind of cheap, gum-ball machine ring that her boyfriend planted in an attempt to carry out the oddest and grossest proposal ever?


Now that would make a MUCH better story.

Five Things You Didn't Know About Cinco de Mayo-From an American

1. Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence day. As we all know Mexico, like every where else in the world, is dependant on the U.S. for both their economy and the negative reinforcement that comes from the unique kind of abusive relationship the U.S is having with every other country in the world.

2. CinCo de Mayo marks the deposing of the Mexican Emperor Maximilian 1 who… Wait Mexico had an emperor? The emperor of Mexico? The Mexican empire? This is last time I use Wikipedia to compile a list of five things you never knew about something.

Mexican empire….HA! This list is over.

Ay Ay Ay!

Perhaps my ear, she deceive me...but did someone say fruit hats?

Ay mi sombreros de frutas!

MONKEYS, AND DRUGLORDS AND SLUMS...OH MY

Yes folks when I think of my dream vacation...I think...Brazil. So much lambada shttp://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080505/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_brazil_tour;_ylt=ArF2isymLVBV9YO74j7Rkaes0NUEo little time!
But forget about sexy sexy dances and fruit hats for a second, I promise we can talk about them later. Lets talk about tours of the seedy underbelly of Rio!!! One company in particular, "Private tours", is facing the threat of a revoked licence, for hooking tourist up with drug traffickers.
I guess this is a tour of the slums of Rio. Umm does anyone else find this odd? Because the first place I would go on a sexy vacation would be Rocinha, the largest of the slums. Things.
Tourists gather round the DRUGLORD, and listen to tales of prison stays, and life as dealer, while trying not to be attacked by filthy monkeys. Personally I would rather grab my Bindle and spend my vacation in a boxcar listening to tall tales from the mouth of a hobo, all the while supping on baked beans soup. It seems a little less dangerous then snapping a pic of one of these young "Brazilian professionals."
I have to agree with Rubem Medina (tourism chief) when he says,"It is not necessary to do this kind of tour in RIO, there are a lot of wonderful attractions."
Which brings me back to SEXY SEXY fruithats!

DIVINE INTERVENTION?

As if cell phones did not already control our lives enough, now we are receiving texts from Jesus!

Thank you Christian charity "Prayer in Action", for joining forces with our mobile phone companies in providing us with our daily prayers.

According to Erik Fok,sales chief for Ecumen, this service will be available to over 500,000 christians within a few years. The text, and I am not making this up, will tell you exactly what to pray for at that exact time. Unless this shit is going to tell me to pray for a million dollars, or a pony, I will keep my fifty cents a prayer thank you, and spend it on more worthwhile things like, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

I guess we should be giving Jesus props for keeping up with modern technology. If cell phones were around in his time, maybe he could have received a text from one of his apostle buddies giving him a heads up on the whole crucifixion thing. "They're coming 4 u" maybe?

Seriously though, this is really pushing the envelope when it comes to individual thought. Honestly being interrupted during such wholesome activities like, gay sex, drinking, coveting my neighbors wife, and being filled with envy, to pray for the "credit crunch," would really piss me off.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080501/od_afp/lifestylebritainreligiontechnologymobileoffbeat_

ummm, unfortunately I have nothing to say today , but there is no one to blame for this soooo.....things.

"Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos"

People of Lesbos take gay group to court over term 'Lesbian'

By NICHOLAS PAPHITIS, Associated Press WriterWed Apr 30, 10:22 AM ET

A Greek court has been asked to draw the line between the natives of the Aegean Sea island of Lesbos and the world's gay women.

Three islanders from Lesbos — home of the ancient poet Sappho, who praised love between women — have taken a gay rights group to court for using the word lesbian in its name.
One of the plaintiffs said Wednesday that the name of the association, Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos," he said.

The three plaintiffs are seeking to have the group barred from using "lesbian" in its name and filed a lawsuit on April 10. The other two plaintiffs are women.

Also called Mytilene, after its capital, Lesbos is famed as the birthplace of Sappho. The island is a favored holiday destination for gay women, particularly the lyric poet's reputed home town of Eressos.

"This is not an aggressive act against gay women," Lambrou said. "Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title."

He said the plaintiffs targeted the group because it is the only officially registered gay group in Greece to use the word lesbian in its name. The case will be heard in an Athens court on June 10.

Sappho lived from the late 7th to the early 6th century B.C. and is considered one of the greatest poets of antiquity. Many of her poems, written in the first person and intended to be accompanied by music, contain passionate references to love for other women.

Lambrou said the word lesbian has only been linked with gay women in the past few decades. "But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years," said Lambrou, who publishes a small magazine on ancient Greek religion and technology that frequently criticizes the Christian Church.

Very little is known of Sappho's life. According to some ancient accounts, she was an aristocrat who married a rich merchant and had a daughter with him. One tradition says that she killed herself by jumping off a cliff over an unhappy love affair.

Lambrou says Sappho was not gay. "But even if we assume she was, how can 250,000 people of Lesbian descent — including women — be considered homosexual?"

The Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece could not be reached for comment.

There is just so much that is hysterical about this story. Perhaps I should not use the word hysterical though since it is derivative the Greek word hysteria meaning womb. I would not want to offend anyone who found this story hysterical, in a colloquial sense, but did not in fact have a womb.

Perhaps I am not getting the point here, but why didn't the people of Lesbos have a problem with the term lesbian as used to describe homosexual women...before now? The article explains that the term lesbian was used to describe homosexual women because of the poet Sappho who live in the 7th century B.C....as in 2700 years ago! Are we to believe that there is just now confusion regarding Lesbians meaning people from Lesbos and Lesbians meaning dykes? This never came up over the past 2700 years?

Further more...the entire homosexual and lesbian community of Greece could not be reached for comment? Not one person? In the whole country?

I think that this article is more dramatic that Sophocles.

Regradless, no one would ever mistake Greeks as homosexual when they are in fact straight. Just look at their artistic, cultural and historical traditions...there is nary the suggestion of any homosexuality whatsoever! WHATSOEVER!

PURSE SNATCHING IS SO PASSE

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080424/od_nm/witchcraft_dc;_ylt=ArC1dlUIpN8od4P8Zy9l62gSH9EA

Men of the Congo BEWARE!! There is a new evil lurking behind every corner in Kinshasa. No it is not a hungry tiger, or malaria infected mosquito (at least not this time), but something much more deviant and horrifying. Penis snatchers!!!!!!!!

Black magic is being used to either shrink or steal one's penis! And here I was thinking that head shrinking was bad. This is infinitely worse.

13 (suspected) Sorcerers have been rounded up. Supposedly it takes but one touch from these "sorcerers" and puff your penis shrinks before your own eyes, or simply swept away to the island of misfit penises.

You might think this is funny, (well it is) but it is leading to attempted lynchings, and is being featured heavily on Congo radio call in shows. There are all sorts of conspiracy theories about this recent outbreak of penis snatching, anything from political oppression, to extortion (offering to give back or enlarge your shrunken penis for a fee.) My question, (well i have many on this but) Have these "victims" looked down to see,if in fact they had been penis snatched? I think living with a penis your whole life, you would know if it had been "magicked," I know I would.

This seems to me like a "the dog ate my homework excuse" for the inadequate Congo man. But to be on the safe side, The Congo Republic is off my list of places to visit before I die.

brian

"WHAT THE F?" and things

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7370842.stm

Just the introduction to this one is enough to say " WHAT THE F$#K!!"

"Seven German artists are living with LICE in their

hair in an Israeli museum for three weeks in the

name of art"

HUH? Unless these little bugs are creating mini frescoes on the heads of these artists, I don't get it.

I do understand all art is open to interpretation, but this is just dirty, and contagious. These are a few of my least favorite things!!!!

They are wearing shower caps to keep the lice from spreading all around the museum. Um, yeah, on my next trip to the Holy Land, I think this is one museum I will skip. This really is gross. Anyone who has a child in elementary school knows how contagious Lice is, and how much work it takes to "delouse" your home after an outbreak. This is one mess holy water can not clean up.

Whats equally disturbing is that 23 year old artist Vincent Grunwald, claims they are hosting the little guys, as the museum is hosting the "ARTISTS." Come on now, they have invited the most disgusting "things" to live under a shower cap on their heads. Oh you know what would be great hosting parasites such as tapeworms, or maybe a very artistic bacteria....such as I don't know, ecoli, or maybe even hosting a delightful STD.

yuck yuck yuck yuck. I mean you wouldn't host crabs for a night at the museum Mr Grunwald? Or would you?......

brian

Mop

Has anyone seen the mop? I sware that thing has legs...and a tongue.

PENGUIN FASHION?

OK... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080424/ap_on_fe_st/odd_penguin_wetsuit;_ylt=AgWQSAB3YeVWdiOQ9EX1NeKs0NUE

This definitely can be summed up in one word.....and that word is ........"things". A wetsuit for a senior penguin? I get it, I really do, the penguin was losing his feathers in his old age and was walking around all bare assed and shivering, while the other penguins laughed and called him names like "nudie" or like many of us, just rolled their eyes at the antics of the elderly. Walking around without pants, eating plain flavored foods, and napping in the middle of conversations. Kooky seniors.

Any way, "Pierre", (the penguin, because if i had a pet penguin that would be the first name that came to mind), is all Mr happy pants in his sleek fitted wetsuit. According to this article, Pierre had "fittings" for his new outfit. What!!!!You couldn't get it right the first time? You needed to follow him around and make adjustments? Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't all penguins pretty much the same size and shape?

What really gets me, is this article is making Senior Aquatic Biologist Pam Schaller, look like a genius for coming up with this idea. Don't get me wrong I am sure she is quite intelligent and a whole hell of a lot smarter then I am, but it isn't rocket science, that if you are cold you put on a coat. Besides, other animals have clothes you can dress them up in, why NOT penguins? I like penguins..........

brian

"We give 'em oil and nuts and bolts and they're happy guys..."

I can wait for the next model of Bon Tron 2000s to roll off the assembly line.

If they come equipped with machine guns (or even kung-fu grip) we are doomed . Doomed. DOOMED!

I have highlighted the passages below that remind me of my of the current Bon Tron model. I must admit, they are so like like that I sometimes forget that I am not dealing with an actual human!

WALTHAM (WBZ) ― It's nimble. It's quick. It can fit into small spaces, and best of all, take a pipe bomb out of a mailbox bare-handed. "It" is a police robot in the midst of a competition in Waltham, between bomb squad officers from all over the country.
They are training on the latest robot technology that could someday save their lives. "We deal with him just like any other partner; we take care of them," said San Francisco bomb squad officer Dino Zografos.

"We give 'em oil and nuts and bolts and they're happy guys…If nobody gets hurt it's a great deal for everybody." Zografos says this is one partner that has already come through for him. One time his robot flushed out a barricaded gunman.

"The bad guy, I don't know what he was thinking, his frame of mind, but he saw the robot and psychologically it bothered him because he wasn't dealing with a human being now, so in his mind, it caused him to give up," Zografos described.

These robots can hand you something, just like a human. They can see you - through a camera, and hear you with the use of a microphone. And they aren't just for police departments. The U.S. military is using hundreds of similar robots in Iraq and other war zones around the world.

Next off the assembly line is a robot with a machine gun. It's not in use yet, but soon a soldier will be able to control it from the safety of a jeep. "They might use these in checkpoints," Zografos said. "It gives a soldier a stand off distance… keeps the soldiers out of harm's way." Because whether it's a war zone, or a city street, a robot down is better than a man down.

"T" IS FOR YOUR TOOF FILLED MOUTH, AS WELL AS "THINGS..".

Consarnit!!!!

THE RUSH IS ON!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080423/ap_on_bi_ge/dental_gold_rush That's right folks!

Forget panning for gold, the source is much closer then you may think. Can't pay the mortgage? Need that extra cash this month? Head on down to your local pawn shop, gold teef in hand, and in an instant you will be able to maintain your comfortable way of life. Cash for your teef, does it get any better then that? It seems that gold teef are going for $50 to $60 a pop. Now, I don't know anybody that has gold teefs, per say, but if i did drinks would be on them, that's for sure. Come on now is the economy really that bad that people are hawking teeth? I guess wooden teef would not fetch that much in today's market, would they?

From my understanding, those of you out there with dentures, may just have hit the jackpot! According to this article dentures are filled with bits and pieces of "precious metals", from gold and silver,to palladium(whatever the hell that is). But alas i am a destined pauper lacking gold teefs and dentures. I guess when the time comes when i need extra cash, I'll just have to settle on selling a kidney,or baby on the black market. (most likely a baby)

brian

brian

Things

I am so pleased to be a part of this historic moment.
Disgruntled Unemployee and Daily Things united.
Truly, the stars have aligned!

Kitty's got a ............WIG?

OK ....total nonsense!!!!! http://www.kittywigs.com/

In case we were all wondering what Lil Kim's kitten (and i do not mean her Virgina)(sic) would look like,....here you go! What?!!!!!! I as a pet owner do not get this one bit, although I have a dog, so maybe it is different? I know we all like to think

of our pets as our children, but when you start disguising them as little people, with wigs and dresses, you have crossed a line from pet lover to just plane weird. It is much like babies being photographed as household plants, or in some cases ....delicious cakes! Please do not ruin a lovely plant or a sweet sweet delicious cake by putting a baby in it. It is just odd and gross, and i don't want to talk about it any longer.........

brian

Things: Daily

This is the compendium Blog to the soon to be launched and then soon to be world famous Things: Monthly.

Enjoy!