Friday, June 20, 2008

"In China, where meetings are almost as popular as banquets..."


Wed Jun 18, 12:17 PM ET
It's official. Hungry foreign hordes craving a fix of diced chicken fried with chili and peanuts during the Beijing Olympics will be able to shout "kung pao chicken!" and have some hope of getting just that.
As it readies for an influx of visitors for the August Games, the Chinese capital has offered restaurants an official English translation of local dishes whose exotic names and alarming translations can leave foreign visitors frustrated and famished.
If officials have their way, local newspapers reported on Wednesday, English-speaking visitors will be able to order "beef and ox tripe in chili sauce," an appetizer, rather than "husband and wife's lung slice."
Other favorites have also received a linguistic makeover.
"Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman," as the Beijing Youth Daily rendered the spicy Sichuanese dish, is now "Mapo tofu." And "chicken without sexual life" becomes mere "steamed pullet."
According to one widely repeated story, the Chinese name of "kung pao chicken" comes from the name of an imperial official who was fed the dish during an inspection tour.
With the Beijing Olympics 51 days away, a notice on the city tourism bureau website ( http://www.bjta.gov.cn ) told restaurants to come and pick up a book with the suggested translations.
In China, where meetings are almost as popular as banquets, agreeing on the English-language menu has taken many rounds of discussions over previous drafts since last year.
Just as predictably in this country where nationalism and the Internet make a potent brew, controversy has already broken out over the blander new translations.
""I don't like this new naming method, it's abandoning Chinese tradition," one Internet comment declared. "There are many stories in the names of these dishes."
(Reporting by Chris Buckley; Editing by Jerry Norton)
----
What exactly is the traditional story behind the dish: "Husband and Wife's Lung Slice"? If Chinatown's across the United States are any indication of what this story might be...I am afraid that I never ever ever want to know. Ever.

What's further...I think that Tofu made by pock-marked women has a little something more than tofu made by a woman with a skin-care regiment.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Thats A CANEN'!



This is not, not like John Waters' "Baltimore Foot Stomper."

Just when you thought the streets of Singapore were safe and Bubble gum free, comes the ultimate sexual predator, "the ARMPIT SNIFFER."

Authorities say he has sniffed 23 armpits, and was only apprehended when a housewife reported a "sniffin"to the police. How does one go about pulling off 23 sniffs anyway? You would have to get pretty damn close to get a worthwhile sniff in, or else you are just wasting a perfectly good sniff.

Another question how does a sniff victim respond during an attack? Do the scream "HELP SNIFFER!!!"or "HELP, HELP, I"M BEING SNIFFED!"? Do they stand there helplessly while being sniffed? Are there Sniff victim support groups? hot line?(1-800-sniff) How does one ever get over something like this, something so so dirty?

Thank god this was handled swiftly by the Singapore court system. They have the perfect sentence. We all know what that is....A CANEN"

sniff an armpit.....that's a canen'

chewing gum.......that's a canen'

graffiti......you got it....that's a canen'

so much canen'




Friday, June 6, 2008

Forget GRAND THEFT AUTO.....

Hopefully this will drop by Christmas 2008.http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080605/od_nm/videogames_judge_dc;_ylt=AgJtmuqe_a1KcgoCZZn8xIMSH9EA
Parents take note! This is going to be like "cabbage patch kids" or "tickle me elmo." Your child will be the envy of every kid on the block.
Way to go world wide web! Tapping retired judge Sandra Day O'connor to promote the most boringest game EVER!!!!!This game is aimed at teaching children about the court system , yaaaawn.....I'm sorry I'm bored just writing about this.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!



SHUT UP!!! A biblical theme park set to open in 2012 in Germany of all places."genesis park." Each of the set 40 attractions, all based on the good book. This is too good to be true.

Think of all the merchandising that can come out of this.

1. Oversize Styrofoam "hands of god"

2. A crucifixion with the head cut out for memorable photos

3. Crucifixion snow globes

4. "Bethlehem or Bust" t-shirts

This list could go on and on.........really. But what about attractions?

1. Sodom and Gomorrah land for adults

2. A virgin Mary kissing booth

3. Last supper land

4. "Holy wine" tastings

5. Three wise men fortune tellers

6. The nativity petting Zoo, complete with pregnant teen Mary.

This warrants a sexy vacation to Germany